Funniest Tweets That Will Make You Go ROFL

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Social media has taken over us so extremely that we have to post every single thing on the internet. When we’re hurt, we make sure that we click a picture of the wound before getting a treatment and then post it on facebook/twitter to let the entire universe know how hurt I am because I was poked by a needle. Sigh. That’s the impact.

Okay, let’s not start sermonising because we already had lots of them. I have these really hilarious tweets picked up randomly that will make your day. No matter how messed up you are but I’m sure this will make you laugh.

#1 I think that wireless mouse was invented just so there was one less thing to hang yourself with at work – Deakins
LOL looks like this guy was badly annoyed with his work. Anyway, I guess we all feel like hanging ourselves at work. Such saviour! 😛

#2 I’ve decided to leave my past behind me, so if I owe you money…. sorry But I’ve moved on – Jay Stewart.
Now that was some smart thing. Next time someone lectures you saying leave your past behind or don’t cling to your past, do this to them!

#3 Can Whoever left me a voicemail please send me a text telling me whether it’s worth listening to? – Johnny McNulty.
Alright, alright! That’s something crazy but he tweeted it like a boss. Though I feel the same sometimes, but I never had the guts to say it loud. But it has been said, so cheers!

#4 At a cemetery, looking for my name on tombstones. This is the Goth version of Googling yourself. – Toddlevin.
I can’t stop laughing, this guy nailed it. I’m sure 40 years down I’ll be doing this in my ghost life 😛

#5 Does it have apples in it?

-NO

– What about Pine?

– No pine, either.

– Perfect, we’ll call it a pineapple. – Brandon from school.
OMG, such a smart and sarcastic way to mock at the name! But I actually wonder what were they thinking when they name it so? God knows.

#6 [7:30 pm] Tonight I’ll actually go to bed on time and get sleep!

[2:30am] the most money ever paid for a cow at an auction was $1.3 million – Phil Stamato.
Seriously? Well, this thing is true for all of us. No matter how much we try being good and disciplined we end up being the spoilt brat. But such weird thoughts are simply hilarious 😀

#7 RT if you were pooping during the earthquake and didn’t know what to do. – CK
Ummm I think I’m speechless right now. I don’t know to react but I had to take a break from after writing after seeing this. Took ages to control my laughter.

#8 What my girlfriend thought, first four dates:
1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. Okay, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.
– Ristolabe
I think every guy out there will relate to this and smile. Even though we own tons of clothes, we just end up wearing the all-time-favourite two!

#9 My 3 – year – old thought postage stamps were stickers and put $30 worth on her shirt. I didn’t even yell. I just mailed her out. – Exploding Unicorn.
OMG! Who does that? That was crazy totally. But a good one. Made me laugh a lot. By the way, did you notice the name? 😛

#10 Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG, I’m freaking out right now tell me his exact words. – Mike Primavera
Well, a nice answer to those who keep consoling and has one answer to all our problems. Dude, he’s smartly sarcastic, and funny too.

#11 Parenting is 80 percent making empty threats and 20 percent picking up miniature toys on the floor. – Carbosly.
HAHAHAHA! I guess she’s pretty correct.  What do you think?

#12 If I worked at a pizza place, I would use pepperoni to spell out “Marry me?” on pizzas all the time just to make things awkward for couples. – Nick Schug
Now that sounds like real fun. If I don’t get a job, because I’m screwing my grades, I will definitely end up doing this.

Enjoyed laughing? Okay!

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